Witty title to be determined.

One thing that's evident when you listen to music is that no one really cares about song lyrics. If song lyrics mattered Eddie Vedder would still be singing incoherently out of a garage in Seattle, and "Rockin' in the Free World" wouldn't be played over the PA system at Major League Baseball games. In fact the only lyrics that usually matter are the title/chorus lyrics: "Wait, the song's called 'Born in the USA'? It must be a rockin' patriotic anthem, and it wouldn't be completely stupid to adopt it as our campaign song".

One of the features of this blog will be dedicated to dissecting weird lyrics. Not misheard lyrics like "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy", but lyrics you do hear correctly and still make you go "Ummm, what?". Some may focus on a single line, or like today almost the entire song.

Today we take a look at another Springsteen song, this one off of his "Seeger Sessions" album. Bruce decided to do the "Seeger Sessions" album due to the severe irony shortage of '06. Bruce figured he would help by being a multi-gazillionare who would cover songs like "We Shall Overcome". One of the songs/covers on this album is "Mrs. McGrath", which is a traditional Irish anti-war song that dates back to 1815. It's a song about a mother who sends her son off to war, only to have him come back horribly disfigured. Or: the least depressing Cure song ever.

Given the description of the song it actually unfolds waaaay differently than you may think (actual lyrics are bolded. and are culled from various sources)


At the beginning of the song we have a mother being sold on sending her son off to war. And apparently she only wants him to go because of the wardrobe

"Mrs. McGrath," the sergeant said,
"Would you like a soldier
of your son, Ted?
Scarlet cloak and a big cocked hat,
now Mrs. McGrath wouldn't you like that?"

Like any good recruiter this sergeant knows how to sell. And he knows what all the ladies find irresistible: fashion. “Wow, a coat and a hat? Hell, why didn’t you tell me right away?! I don’t even care if he doesn’t want to go now”

So after 7 years or so the son returns. And upon his return his mother finds out some bad news

Then came Ted without any legs
And in their place two wooden pegs,
She kissed him a dozen times or two
And said "My god, Ted is it you"

"Now were ye drunk or were ye blind
When ye left yer two fine legs behind
Or was it walking upon the sea
That wore your two fine legs away?"

The moment she sees her legless son she starts cracking jokes. Is this a tearful reunion, or is it a night at the Apollo and mom is going after a legless heckler? Frankly I can’t tell.

The son takes it well however, either that or he just can’t walk out without tipping over. But he explains that it was in fact a cannonball that took his legs. To which mother replies

"My, Teddyboy," the widow cried
"Your two fine legs were your mother's pride
Stumps of a tree won't do at all.....

“Goddamn it son, I liked your legs, why’d you have to lose them? What? You can’t walk now? Who cares, this isn’t about you”

.....Why didn't you run from the cannon ball?"

“Well gee, great advice mom. If only you were there to advise me to do that. Instead I actually put myself in the path of the cannonball because I thought I could catch it like a dodgeball. I figured that was one way of winning”.

And finally we end on these lyrics

"All foreign wars I do proclaim
live on blood and a mothers pain.
I'd rather have my son as he used to be
Than the King of America and his whole navy"

Finally mom shows at least a little bit of compassion. She does however show a stunning lack of knowledge of how exactly America works. Maybe she went to public school

That's it for this installment. Since there are roughly one billion or so published songs in the history of the world I should have plenty of material.