Good evening. I’m Hal Warden, and on tonight’s “Warden Report” my guest is World War II veteran Jimmy Caldwell. It’s all part of our nine-part series “People Who Are Better Than Us”. Good evening Mr. Caldwell
CALDWELL: Glad to be here Hal. Call me Jimmy….
Lieutenant Jimmy
WARDEN: So let’s just jump right into it Lt. Jimmy.
Tell us all about your experiences in World War II
CALDWELL: As you can imagine it wasn’t easy. You hear
all about the storming of the beach at Normandy. I had to storm the beaches
every day!
WARDEN: You did? Where were you stationed? Europe? The
Pacific?
CALDWELL: Uh, well I was stationed in (coughs)
theBahamas (coughs again)
WARDEN: I’m sorry, did you say you were stationed in
the Bahamas?
CALDWELL: Yes
WARDEN: How?! Why?!
CALDWELL: Our boys were stationed all over the world.
We had men in France, we had men in Singapore. Hell, we had men in Antarctica
probably. Of course we’d also have men in the Bahamas, and I was one of the men
designated to serve there proudly
WARDEN: So luck of the draw then basically?
CALDWELL: Luck nothin’! It was terrible! I spent my
nights worried sick that a German carrier would bring death and destruction at
any time! It was so bad that I could barely sleep next to the beautiful natives
that inhabited the island! I mean I did, but it was tougher than you’d think.
WARDEN: I have to say that it doesn’t sound
particularly difficult, in fact….
CALDWELL: (interrupting) …and have you ever tried
finding a sunscreen with the right amount of SPF during wartime?
WARDEN: (stammering) I… I can’t say I have
CALDWELL: Exactly! And we did a great job! You didn’t
hear one story about Nazis even coming close to the island! If they did we’d be
ready for them. Providing they didn’t attack during one of our many limbo
contests
WARDEN: Limbo contests?
CALDWELL: Yes, the army mandated that we perfect our
limbo skills just in case the war ever came down to that instead of huge
battles involving guns and bombs. You’d THINK the practical thing would be a
limbo battle, but the Axis never did come to us with that option. Probably cuz
they heard about my sick skills! (chuckles) My great grandson says that all the
time
WARDEN: (sighs) Interesting.
CALDWELL: Let me tell you it didn’t get any easier once
the war was over. I mean, once my ship docked and I came ashore I was greeted
by none other than Miss Lana Turner. She was terribly desperate to show her
gratitude for my service, and I let her
WARDEN: And you say that wasn’t easy?
CALDWELL: Of course not…. I was a Veronica Lake guy! I
didn’t meet her until a few days later.
WARDEN: How have your years been since?
CALDWELL: Oh not that great. I had a well-paying union
job for 40 years, but I had to pay dues! A loving wife with lots of kids and
grandkids. I’m giving away money in birthday cards almost every day it seems.
Lousy moochers. And just the other day I was one number away from winning the billion-dollar
lottery jackpot
WARDEN: So you only won….
CALDWELL: ….a million dollars. After taxes it’s hardly
even worth the ticket!
WARDEN: If the ticket cost $600,000
CALDWELL: Give or take. (Muttering) Probably take
WARDEN: Well this has been illuminating. (To the
camera) Join us tomorrow when my guest will be Alan Thicke. Goodnight and God
bless
